We sat down at the table and ate breakfast together (oats, berries and yoghurt) and I finished ironing on the labels to his daycare clothes. I packed Ethan's spare clothes and nappies into his new schoolbag and then time was up...we had to go.
Check out my cool schoolbag
I was tempted just to sit down and play for a bit but I had to bite the bullet and leave the house... every step I took I was getting more and more sad. Ethan had no idea of course and when a song with a strong beat came onto the radio he started bopping along to it and laughing! At this stage I wanted to just turn around and drive back home and enjoy playing with my little boy for just one more day...Once at daycare I dropped off his gear, put his milk in the fridge and started to say goodbye. This is when Ethan realised something was up, his bottom lip wobbled, I reassured him that it would be ok... but it didn't work. He started breaking his little heart. All I wanted to do was to hold him and make the sadness go away. Instead I had to go against every motherly instinct I have and just walk away, leaving him in the arms of virtual strangers. Out at the car I could hear his cry hitting the high pitches of absolute distress and I just wanted to run in there, and take him home with me. I am sure it will get better but today was a very hard day. I miss him so much already and its only been an hour!
1 comment:
Oh hon, I know just what you are going through. It does break your heart, I worried and agonised and worried some more with both my boys. But it does get easier. And they do adjust really quickly. It is much harder for us than it is for them.
When M went back I found it even harder because I knew I now had to split what little time I had with the 2 of them. But I vowed to myself that as soon as I could I would find a way to work less hours (like once N went to school), and make the most of each and every hour I do have with them.
These are hard choices and sacrifices we mums have to make but in a few weeks you'll feel much more at peace and settled.
Thinking of you xx
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